Beating Dead Horses….

It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted anything, energy a bit low, blood glucose a bit high on average. I’m trying to loose weight – NOT easy. I’ve had a few dysphoria episodes, I wish I could say I’m done with that, or that the medications are more effective – but no, not really.

I can confirm something that one one of my intersexed FB friends told me – I likely need a new psychiatrist. I tried explaining all the feelings about wanting to ‘be with’ guys, how it was more a romantic/emotional support type of need. I explained the thing about having – essentially – two different sex drives, and how my wife was only SLOWLY coming to grips with that. I told him about how I still felt so much anxiety at times about dealing with this…

His suggestion – I might consider a trial separation in the future and a prescription for Xanax. No mention of low-dose hormone therapy soon or in the future. I don’t think he ‘Gets’ what being trans* is about. He treats it as if I’m an effeminate gay guy.

<facepalm> “REALLY?”  I had to push to get him to admit a full endocrine workup was a good idea. (it was normal BTW).

Having a endocrine levels across the board means that I’m a typical trans* person – and this is an organic problem as described in literature.

The last visit to the therapist was productive. Some crying as usual, but many times now it feels more cleansing than revealing weakness. I still tend to think my issue is as much with sexual as gender identity – that bigender is more the case than being a full blown MtF. Crossdessing is a possibility, but I have over 40 pounds to drop and my hair isn’t as long as I’d like it yet. Then – there’s the VOICE….potentially the biggest problem.

Left turn…

A friend suggested purple yams – I can’t remember what FOR, but they are tasty. Magnesium seems to help, the same friend suggested this type:

I’ve also been taking L-Arginine, as it’s supposed to help maintain the elasticity of veins and arteries – something that I can use, as I’m over 50 and diabetic.

This post on facebook by ‘N’ was interesting….

“Men and women have fully developed neurological systems for fu..king like their opposite genders. In straight men the part that makes them wish to do the femme thing is repressed and for straight women the butch thing is repressed.

Hypothetically it should be trivial to change a person’s sexual orientation within minutes.

To completely change it one would need to unblock the same gender pathway and then block the opposite gender pathway. But why bother? If the same gender pathway is unblocked and the opposite gender pathway not blocked animals fu..k like transsexuals! (To avoid the usual headache of figuring out what gender pronoun to use with transsexuals for this post I am going with their anatomic gender at birth.)

In this abstract researchers surgically unblocked the male behavioral pathway in female mice and they went at it with other females although they still preferred being the layie than the layer in liking the guy rats more than the gal ones.

Of course most lesbians and gay men can tell you an effective non surgical means of unblocking the same gender pathway. I.e. the difference between a straight and a gay is a few alcoholic drinks. Alcohol works by lowering inhibitory neurological functioning which is why someone with a voice like a gravel truck won’t do karaoke and most White males won’t dance until they are buzzing a bit on alcohol. Alcohol has the potential to make almost anyone bisexual.”

“Despite the display of a transsexual behaviour (i.e. vigorous mounting), all females with the cut showed heterosexual partner preference.””

Oestrogen-induced vigorous mounting:

PubMed – NCBI

Given the way I feel at times, I have to wonder how poorly the ‘female’ pathway is blocked in my case. I’m less about gender identity than about sexual identity at times.


 I periodically get in ‘discussions’ with both Atheists and Reactionaries over what ‘dogma’ I should believe, or what the Bible says about people like me. I’m not going to tackle the Atheist discussions for now, but I’m going to toss out some things that lead me to believe that God really doesn’t have a problem with Gay relationships that are steady and as committed as Heterosexual ones.

How do I decide?

Christ said the greatest commandment is to love God with all that we are. Well, that means being able to admit it when it’s obvious we’re wrong – this includes things that are demonstrably true that might seem in opposition to ‘biblical’ teaching. How can we love God, if we choose the oft-mangled bible, when the facts of God’s creation are sitting right in front of us?

Christ said the second greatest commandment is to love others as we love ourselves. If ANYTHING in the Bible contradicts this – it’s wrong or being interpreted badly. The Bible is NOT infallible – the original texts are long dust or lost. It was originally composed by a political think-tank under Constantine by the early version of the Catholic Church. Interpretation is ‘murky’ at best in spots.

Major Doctrine is repeated often, and supports other major doctrines. Minor Doctrines that conflict with point 1 or point 2 have to be reconsidered.

The bible is literally true in some places, others – not so much. Allegory is common, and Bronze age men did not have the words or concepts that we have now.

If the Holy Spirit does not guide you, then you’re likely to get it wrong. If you’re violating principle 1 or 2 above – you are not following the prompting of the Holy Spirit…. See the Southern Baptist Convention for Examples….BUTTLOADS OF THEM.

I know, because that’s the church that I was brought up in – they SAY they’re all about forgiveness – trust me, there’s not a bigger group of bigots around. There’s not much worse than a self-assured bunch of people that KNOW that ‘God is on on their side’.

I don’t accept the self-assured and completely internal logic of either the “Holier than Thou” crowd *OR* the Atheists I generally run into. Everything hangs on facts, and the fact  is – just because you can’t SEE something doesn’t mean it’s not there.

A guy names Jeff Beresford posted something on a FB group (thanks for letting me post this Jeff), and I suggest reading this guy’s piece on DeviantArt …
( )

If Paul intended to condemn homosexuality, he could have used at least 12 other words, universally known and in common usage that specifically address homosexual acts to make his point.

Instead of using ANY of these words however, Paul coined a new Greek word, arsenokoitai or arsenokoites, from the words arsenos koiten, found in Lev 20:13 in the Septuagint, (a Greek translation of the Old Testament), where the cultural, historical and religious context is temple prostitution.

Other Words Paul could have used? – well then its just as well i mentioned it….

arrenomanes – meaning mad after men or boy crazy

dihetaristriai – a synonym referencing lesbian sexuality, meaning essentially the same thing as hetairistriai, tribad, tribades, from: Love Between Women: Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism, Brooton, Bernadette, p. 23.

erastes – a sometimes older man who loves a sometimes younger male

eromenos – a sometimes younger male who loves an older male

euryproktoi – men who dress as women, also a vulgar reference to anal penetration

frictrix – Latin word referring to a lewd woman and sometimes used to refer to a lesbian. Tertullian, 160-220 AD, translated tribas (a masculine woman) as frictrix.

hetairistriai – women who are attracted to other women, used by Plato’s character Aristophanes, in The Symposium. May also refer to hyper-masculine women, from Lucian’s Dialogue of the Courtesans, cited by Brooten, p. 52.

kinaidos – a word for effeminate, ???a?d?? or kínaidoi (cinaedus in its Latinized form), a man “whose most salient feature was a supposedly feminine love of being sexually penetrated by other men.” Winkler, John J., 1990, The Constraints of Desire: The Anthropology of Sex and Gender in Ancient Greece, New York: Routledge. (Although some scholars, like Dr. Robert Gagnon, understand kinaidoi to mean the passive partner in a male couple, Davidson argues that kinaidoi refers to a man insatiable and unrestrained in his sexual appetites instead of merely effeminate or passive. Davidson, J. 1997. Courtesans & Fishcakes: The Consuming Passions of Classical Athens, New York, p. 167-182.)

lakkoproktoi – a lewd and vulgar reference to anal penetration

lesbiai – a synonym referencing lesbian sexuality, meaning essentially the same thing as dihetaristriai, hetairistriai, tribad, tribades, from: Love Between Women: Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism, Brooton, Bernadette, p. 23.

paiderasste – sexual behavior between males

paiderastes or paiderastïs – pa?de?ast?? derived from the Greek word pais, pa?? a boy, meaning lover of boys

paidomanes – a male mad for boys or boy crazy

paidophthoros – a Greek word meaning corrupter of boys

pathikos – the passive penetrated partner in a male couple

tribades – an ancient Latin word indicating the active female partner of a lesbian pair, sometimes interpreted to mean a pseudo-male, referencing genital contact between women. Rashi defines it as “rubbing in a sexual manner.”

tribas – the active partner in a lesbian relationship, who takes the male role

So, a veritable cornupcopia of widely accepted and understood words, not only to refer to the generlaities, but also to the specifics. If Paul had used one of these words in Romans 1:26-27 or 1 Corinthians 6:9 or 1Timothy 1:10, we could be reasonably certain of his meaning. However, Paul did not use any of these words, suggesting he had some-thing else in mind, like rape, interspecies sex or shrine prostitution, when he coined his interesting new Greek word, arsenokoitai.

Paul intended to remind his readers of the real meaning of arsenokoitai, based on the way first century Jews understood Leviticus 20:13. Therefore modern readers need to remind themselves that in the first century, Jewish religious leaders understood arsenos-koiten as used in Leviticus 20:13, as condemning shrine prostitutes and the sex rituals which accompanied their worship of false gods.

There is not a shred of historical evidence that anyone in the first century A.D. understood arsenokoitai to refer to male and female homosexuality in general.


..again, thanks Jeff.

You can see toward the end – Paul VERY likely meant eroticism linked to worshipping other gods (Check the Ten Commandments on that one). SHOW ME where Homosexuality is any more sinful than eating Fried Shrimp. It’s not….

Peter was essentially told in Acts that the Levitical Law does not apply to Christians. 

One argument I’ve heard MANY times….

“since when does somebodies choice of behavior qualify as minority status? whats next legalizing pedophillia? beastiality? polygamy? incest? of those groups use exactly the same arguement to promote their cause as homo’s.”

“All Gays are pedophiles” is an argument? It’s not even TRUE, it’s another lie trotted out by ‘christians’ who are unable to see past their bigotry to even review what the bible ACTUALLY SAYS about being ‘different’.

Christians explicitly follow the New Testament.

Jews Follow the Pentateuch (first five books of our ‘bible’), venerate (?) the rest of the Old Testament, and do not accept the New at all.

Understanding the word requires the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This is stated outright in a few places, and an example is specifically given in the tale of the Ethiopian Eunuch.

Atheists like to cherry-pick the horrible misogynistic stuff in the Old Testament to say what you just did. TOO MANY ‘christian’ churches rely on the Old Testament to support their prejudices.

Peter is told that God has ‘made things clean’ – the Levitical requirements no longer apply.

The Old Testament is history, testimony, and the Law. In the Old Testament, Priests gave animal sacrifices to God to exonerate sins. When Christ came to be the perfect sacrifice, ALL the animal sacrifices were made unnecessary. The Law no longer applies to any that accept the Gift of that sacrifice.

Just because a person DID things in the OT, does not mean that’s the way to do it.

The Law is something better than the horrors of the pagan religions that surrounded Israel – but it is NOT the standard that God really sets. Rather, it is a standard – to constantly improve until we no longer CAN.

The Old Testament is but one example to us that – through our own efforts, we can never reach God. Christ says as much in the New Testament.

I became a Christian in ’93. I went through 2 years of Discipleship Studies.

I *have* read it. I will not claim to be a theologian, or even an apologist – but the statements made by most ‘Christians’ is WRONG.  Just because a textbook gives examples that are wrong, so that you do not make those errors, does not render the textbook wrong….

According to one fellow, “1,138 rights and protections including the right to visit your dying spouse in the hospital or even taking home the flag of a dead military spouse, aren’t given to civil union couples just because they aren’t married. That’s federal level”

What I find funny is that so many “christians” see it as so much WORSE than all the other sins.

We CAN explain how homosexuality exists. EVEN MY 80 YEAR OLD DAD understands that it’s the action of hormones on a child in the womb, that’s been mis-timed – overdone, or underdone at the wrong time.


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5 responses to “Beating Dead Horses….

  1. When people look back on all of this in 2,000 yrs, it’s gonna look like the last 2,000 yrs. do today. Except there will be the old earth ways that we don’t use on our new planet that we also live on. Just like there is an old testament. And a ‘new’ one. There will probably be another ‘newer one’.
    They will supersede the old ones. People from different planets will bitch about the other planets and how they live. Because they are different planets. Hmm…wonder if the biggest planet will be called Texas. The one with all the water and snow? Maybe MN. I could never say, and probably never will say, what happened when I died. I do know. I don’t worry about it.
    Maybe it is just me or was me. The fact that it has happened more than once with the basically same results, means nothing, really. Again just me.
    I do know that I can’t see things as a chain of events. It isn’t just one event either. Again, maybe just me, but what I thought of as reality was forever changed. And again confirmed. It’s all good. I can’t change any of it, and I wouldn’t. I did try, I tried really hard, but it still is the same as I found out.
    But I knew that was going to happen. I had to try at least. My confirmation?

    The list of words is correct, for the most part. The truth is that definitions do change, but things remain the same. People change definitions to suit the changes they want. Things still remain the same. You can interpret anything any way you want to, but it will remain the same. It is always up to you to decide what is right. You make the decisions. If they don’t work out, you change things till they do. But they will still be the same. Your decisions will change, what you decide will change. Things will still remain as they really are. They always have and always will. Perception is key to understanding.
    I wish I was better at it. We all do. Accepting those changes and differences is changing your choices, which changes your perception. We are so assbackwards. I can see it, touch it, feel it. But there isn’t any way that I or anyone could know all of it. Doesn’t work that way. At least my perception of it doesn’t think that it does. there isn’t events. We are the event.

    Yep, something happened to me one day. And then I was back. It happened two more times. My perception is that I don’t remember it all. But that is because of my decisions, my choices. How I perceive it to be.
    So I don’t want to call it anything, I don’t want to limit my perception by doing so. I don’t want that to change my perception, because there is a real reason for why I have it. It was given to me. Is this what you mean?


    • Something happened alright. I do not remember all of it – those two weeks that I ‘lost my mind’ are a blur – like a bad drunk. Perception is at the center of it all. Mine – of myself – changed. I realized something that I know now to always have been a part of me.

      The volume of evidence that I am increases daily.

      We will always have those that hate us because we are different, because they have to think to understand us and they simply don’t want to. Because hating is easier than understanding.

      My purpose with this post is to strip away their camoflauge. They cannot use Christianity to claim ‘immunity’ to accepting the reality that they hate, and are simply bigots.

      The original intent of the biblical texts is to lead ALL to God.

      We who are Trans*, Bisexual, Gay, Intersexed, or any other version of ‘queer’ – are not damned by our condition. God loves us all.

      How you are borm is not the issue – what you do with tyhe life that God gave you is….

      • Bigots are nothing. Not special. It pisses them off that they aren’t.
        Using religion is the worst possible way of expressing it.
        Religion is a belief. Bigotry is like a club for losers.
        And like all losers, they have to tear down others and things in order to justify their existence. People are special in their own separate ways.
        Acceptance of special should be just matter of fact kind of logical thinking.
        Bigots don’t think they are special, whether they realize they think that way or not. They are so engrossed with the idea of being plain, that they actually try to tear down and take away someone else’s special. It’s an extremely vain way to live. It just has to hurt to think that way. So they take it out on anyone they can take that being special away from, even further.
        It’s a vicious cycle that they put themselves through.
        It’s infuriating to have to put up with them. But consider that you are not going through a personal hell. You are going through their hell, they are dragging you into it. Bigots have a way of burning out. Their lives become pretty meaningless, even in groups. Let them be and they become powerless. If one calls you a name, agree with them.
        “Yes I Am” is the most disarming thing you can say to a bigot. Not in every circumstance, but in a majority of them, it works. Agree with them. What have they got then? Just themselves, and they don’t like to be themselves.
        They don’t have their own realization of special, just a view that others are and they need to take that away to feel better about themselves.
        Psychologically, they are little spoiled brats. They are immature. Confronting that immaturity doesn’t work. But like a child who is misbehaving, agreeing with them disarms them. Simply walking away or ignoring them gives them the impression that they won something. But really, all they have is a name calling kind of mentality. Agree with it and they have nothing left in their arsenal of self righteousness. Argue with them and they will argue till they fall off the ends of the earth.
        “You’re a Sinner!” “Yes I Am” “You will go to hell” “Yes I Will”….
        It goes on until they run out of stupid. “Well yah but, but,but…”
        End of their game, you won by default.
        See, you’re special right there….

  2. St John Chrysostom wrote:

    “But that I may show the atrocity in a yet clearer light, bear with me in one more example. Now if any one condemned a virgin to live in close dens (θαλομευομένην), and to have intercourse with unreasoning brutes, and then she was pleased with such intercourse, would she not for this be especially a worthy object of tears, as being unable to be freed from this misery owing to her not even perceiving the misery? It is plain surely to every one. But if that were a grievous thing, neither is this less so than that. For to be insulted by one’s own kinsmen is more piteous than to be so by strangers: these I say (5 mss. “I consider”) are even worse than murderers: since to die even is better than to live under such insolency. For the murderer dissevers the soul from the body, but this man ruins the soul with the body. And name what sin you will, none will you mention equal to this lawlessness. And if they that suffer such things perceived them, they would accept ten thousand deaths so they might not suffer this evil. For there is not, there surely is not, a more grievous evil than this insolent dealing. For if when discoursing about fornication Paul said, that “Every sin which a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Cor. vi. 18); what shall we say of this madness, which is so much worse than fornication as cannot even be expressed? For I should not only say that thou hast become a woman, but that thou hast lost thy manhood, and hast neither changed into that nature nor kept that which thou haddest, but thou hast been a traitor to both of them at once, and deserving both of men and women to be driven out and stoned, as having wronged either sex.”

    I’m not a fan. Oh yes, he also argued that the Earth was flat too.

    • John Chrysostom – a ‘saint’ – laughable, honestly. Catholicism claims only SOME are ‘saints’ – yet the New Testament uses the term ot refer to ALL Christians.

      I tried for some time to understand Catholicism – they make things up on a regular basis it seems. Those things are based on – not the bible, but their own traditions – which are numerous and contradictory.

      On the one hand, they claim Peter is ‘the rock’ on which the ‘church’ (Catholicism – all others are illegitimate in their view) is founded, but on the other claim the Bible is but ONE document upon which their version of Christiainity is founded.

      Unless there is something painfully correct about it, I tend to discard any Catholic nonsense upon receipt.

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