Monthly Archives: May 2013

…some Fundamental Problems

This started out as many of my blog posts are apt to do) as a response on one of my (FAR TOO MANY) discussions on Facebook, it sorta evolved into a rant….ENJOY!

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The things Fundamentalists have problems wrapping their head around are just amazing, how can one be rational and think like that? (oh, wait, you can’t – well that explains some things)

People are born gay. They *are*. The problem is that this means that God is NOT attendant to things that are outside His purpose. Fundamentalists think it all revolves around them and their agenda.

What – exactly – IS their agenda? I can’t see much of Christianity in it.

God allows free will – otherwise we’d basically be robots. Evil HAS to exist for free will to exist. Give that some thought – it implies we CAN’T have a ‘always attentive’ God.

We are spiritual beings held in a physical shell, this ‘life’ is temporary – something Atheists have problems with philosophically. <shrug> Tough – You can’t bitch about all the evil – and then complain about no free will at the same time…

God only steps in when there are issues having to do with His mission for YOU – our HIS mission on Earth. No other time.

You don’t believe in Him? Hey…your choice (Free Will, remember?) he’s simply not going to be present in any form unless you are part of His purpose here.

If you’re part of His purpose, stand by – it gets BUMPY.

That Fundamentalists think God hinges on their every thought and the world revolves around their viewpoint – says things about their average level of maturity, and also their ability to read and absorb what the Bible means. Christ was MEEK – he was God incarnate – yet he set himself up as a servant for many.

You really think that He’s horribly worried about what your views on nonsense like ‘transubstantiation’ are?

I’d wager He’s FAR more concerned with how you treat you loved ones and strangers.

Sodom was about a people that were unkind to strangers and were not generous about helping others with their excess. It was NOT about buttsecks. Again, you have to wonder why they worry about the things they do.

(Hint – it’s RUDE to beat people to death with your holy book)

Your son is gay? – help him understand how that will play out in his life, don’t try to force him to hide it, that’s unhealthy and it’s not going to CHANGE anything. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, you people are READING IT WRONG.

Your Daughter is a Lesbian? Dance with BOTH brides at the wedding.

One of your kids is Bi? Help them to work out how that affects their relationships.

Transgender? Cry with them – Hug them – because that road is a tough one.

– Six Literal Days? Really? Even reading the text in English, that has to be wrong. Try ‘epochs’ – MUCH more appropriate word there.

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Why Us, and how?

I’m going to outline a few things I understand about why people like us ‘happen’. I’m not an expert, and someone may well correct me, but here goes….

During early development a fetus is ‘female’ as far as the ‘mechanics’ are concerned, Later developments during hormonal “baths” either shift the fetus to male or don’t. There are some things that happen along the way if things ‘work correctly’.

Genetics is part of the reason why some of us are transgender (or gay, lesbian, etc…). It’s not clear if ONLY genetics has a lot to do with it, but we know that  ‘Epigenetics’ also comes into play. 

Epigenetics  has to do with how a chromosome ‘twists’ physically – like a hair, but it’s proportionately MUCH longer. The chromosome twists up into a ball – and if two adjacent genes responsible for ‘transness’ or ‘gayness’ must come close to each other AND be bathed in the wrong sex hormoes at the wrong time – the child’s orientation will differ from the norm in a number of ways. We can’t yet predict HOW – or even – this is going to happen.

Transexuality and all the related conditions – the entire LBGTQI spectrum – all work the same way – they interrelate, you can be a mix.

Epigenetics, Stress on the mother, environmental conditions during the pregnancy….these are the things that lead to a fetus later becoming something ‘outside the norm’ of human binary sexual behavior.

Stress on the mother can change the nature of the hormone bath. It’s not yet clear HOW and WHAT all these stresses can be.

All this appears to be a ‘vulnerability’ whose execution is dependent on the conditions of the pregnancy.

There’s a theory that population stress is ONE of those stress-ors – as well as a variety of others – and that evolution brought it about as a positive adaptation to RELIEVE that stress.

Gay Individuals (and most of the LGBTQI spectrum) rarely have children. This helps alleviate population pressure relatively benignly.

Transgender persons are also generally more capable of dealing with stress, as well as being (on average) more intelligent. The entire LGBTQI spectrum tends to be – on average – more intelligent.

The rate of transgender persons in the Special Forces across the globe is FOUR TIMES that in the general population. It’s believed to be a desire on their part to ‘prove their manhood’. While that may be true – there is theorized to be an evolutionary impetus to create ‘soldier ants’ to be guardians of the species as a whole.

It’s also worth nothing that ‘two spirit’ individuals are historically honored for their wisdom in some societies.

I have to wonder if the societal rejection is not also some sort of evolutionary countermeasure to prevent ‘sports’ like this from becoming the norm. I’d like to see actual percentage a from a variety of historical societies – but THAT would require a time machine.

I’m very much FOR allowing individuals to act privately as they desire, so long as they don’t harm others in the process. I see no harm at all in allowing individuals of the same sex to marry – and a great deal of harm in forbidding it.

If you can be prejudiced against ONE harmless group of people, you can justify it in ANY case. It’s a bad precedent to set.

There is no Biblical issue with Gay Couples despite the nonsense that bigots behind pulpits claim – using the Greek of their own Bible to prove it.

 

 

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Crossdressing as a coping strategy…

Ever since I figured out the issue I have, crossdressing has appealed to me. I couldn’t say WHY, simply that it did. A facebook friend of mine has thought about this issue (she is a bit further along the path than I am) and has a theory as to why some of us do….

I don’t believe that you’re either “this type” or “that type” of Transsexual person, which is the paradigm they hold. Like everything else in our species, gender identity exists within a spectrum, and while it is probably not changeable, it can certainly be expanded upon.

When I took the SAGE test ( http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/test.htm ), it showed I was an Autogynephillic Cross-dresser among other things. I didn’t react well to that – it struck at my heart deeply – I knew it was true… once I found out what it meant. Thing is – the term Autogynephillic Crossdresser – isn’t a widely accepted concept among transexuals. There’s an old joke…

“How much difference is there between a Crossdresser and a Transexual?”
“About 2-3 years”

It’s seen as – and likely very much IS – a ‘trolley stop’ on the way to realising one’s true internal gender. Some stay there, because they do not experience dysphoria as badly – some for other reasons (Wive’s, Family, Religion).

As for erotic cross-dressing, I believe it probably happens a lot more than the Trans community is willing to admit. I also suspect that some people engage in it intensely, while for others it doesn’t really do much, and I’ll explain why. But first, let’s look at the difference between male and female sexual arousal.

A heterosexual male will, almost invariably, feel sexual desire towards a female he considers attractive. Given the opportunity, within a few seconds, he is ready to perform and impregnate a her. It doesn’t really matter to him if she is particularly attracted to him, or interested in him as a person. In some respects, his “thinking” mind shuts off for the duration of the encounter. Sex for a male is very much an “on and off” process. His body seeks the rush of endorphins and dopamine supplied by an orgasm, because this is how nature ensures the perpetuation of our species (and most others.)

A heterosexual female may see a male she considers attractive, but ordinarily, she will not seek to engage in sex unless the male behaves in a manner that makes her feel “desirable.” This feeling of being desired is part of the female arousal process, and without it, sex can feel perfunctory and provide no pleasure. For a female to experience an orgasm, typically she needs for the male to make her feel a certain way… cherished, protected, desired or what we called “loved.” Nature has programmed her to “test” the male’s commitment to her before she commits to 9 months of pregnancy, since she will be vulnerable during and immediately after this period. Having a male around, and being assured he will stick around assures her that she will be safe.

As the old adage goes, women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex.

I *NEVER* went on ‘autopilot’, got lost in the moment, or whatever – I enjoyed sex, but it wasn’t the massive passion-dump she’s describing here, nor has it been that pleasurable in the past – 15 years or so. It was pleasant – but not THAT pleasant. I sometimes wonder how things would go if I had a male companion that was interested in me. I’m married, so that option isn’t on the table right now.

Now, take a Transsexual female who has just reached puberty, and finds herself attracted to females. The part of her brain responsible for sexual attraction becomes very confused. The masculine part of her brain feels the intense desire to have sex with a female she finds attractive, but the feminine part says, “I want her to want me.” She doesn’t want to “take” sex from the object of her desire because that’s not what females do, but she very much would like it to be given to her, so she feels desired, cherished and so on. Basically, her sex drive is like a male’s, but her need to feel desired is like a females. So when the Transsexual female seeks to “bond” with a female she finds attractive, they both want the same thing from each other, which neither of them feel comfortable giving. The end result is the attraction devolves into a “friendship”, which is fine for the cisfemale, but leaves the Transsexual female feeling frustrated and rejected.

That’s pretty much how I feel – and felt very depressed when I first realized the issue – but was unable to express it this way.

She is still deeply aroused by the concept of possessing a female, so she thinks, “how can I get closer to the object of my desire?” “How can I indulge myself in a sexual encounter without a female present?” Perhaps there is a substitute… something that can make me feel both desired as a female (like a woman does), while at the same time possessing a female (like a man does.)” And thus a *coping strategy* is devised. Like most adolescent girls, a Transsexual female wants to express her femininity, see herself as others see her… pretty, feminine, sexy, alluring, desirable. This is completely natural, so the idea that a Transsexual female would want to dress as, and appear as, a woman is completely understandable. Expected even. I’ve never spoken to a single Trans woman who did not cross-dress at some point, even if it was only once.

Yet she also has this extreme, testosterone-fueled urge to have sex. Ordinary adolescent boys relieve this, obviously, through masturbation – usually to the thought or idea of a female (usually naked.) A Trans woman feels this same feeling, but her brain gender tells her she IS female. How can she avoid the inevitable conflagration of the two? Her brain is telling her, “I’m attracted to females, I am a female, but since I can’t express my female sexuality in public, I must do it in private. To fulfill my female need to feel desired sexually, I will make myself both the target and object of desire, thus fulfilling both the male and female needs at once.

So there you have it. Erotic cross-dressing is a COPING STRATEGY that non-homosexual Transsexual females use to basically keep from going insane. It is a SYMPTOM of Transsexualism… an attempt to relieve the intense gender dysphoria brought on by massive levels of pubertal testosterone acting on her female brain.

At least this is my theory.

Certainly, this fits MY experience…

 

Now, think about what happens to male bodies as they get into their forties and fifties. Testosterone DROPS. The coping strategy is needed less and less because less testosterone equals lower libido, but the DYSPHORIA is as strong as ever. Take away the testosterone and you’re left with a female gender identity and a brain starved for hormones. Introduce ESTROGEN, and magic happens. All of a sudden, your shoes are no longer on the wrong feet. You feel “right” and “correct” for the first time in your life. The feeling of correctness confirms beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are – and what you need to do. Hello second puberty.

 

My guess is, if all Trans females received estrogen and testosterone suppression, and went through a normal female puberty, erotic cross-dressing would be almost as rare as it is in cisfemales.

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